Random Collaboration Thingy of Whateverness!
by Luthy Lovett
Summary: Yup. A random collaboration thing with my friend Drew. Pirates and whatever else we think of. XD But mostly Pirates.
1. Yum yum Captain Crunch

(Randomeeeeee Note Thing of DOOM! HAH: Hello, dear friends, reader, and yaks of all colors. If you are Beckett eh blue chicken, please jump off the balcony to your right. Erm, anyway, this is a collaboration with my friend DREW who is CORRECTING me on my spelling of collbaertaion. ("It's two ls! GOD!") Yup. Okay. Yeah. It's one of those things where someone writes one thing, and then the next person writes the next part. Yeah. So, things are in bold are what I write, and thisdkjhfjweklhlejlfn0 That was me getting mad at Drew, in case you were wondering. Anyhoo, things in italics are DREW. Yeah. Wooh. SO READ IT ALREADY! XD )

_Italics, even though I said this before: Drew XD_

**Bold: Me. Yeah. The one you've been reading before, and who never shuts up. XD**

The Random Collaboration Thingy of Whateverness and Then Some

**Legolas skipped through a field of flowers, singing the My Little Pony Theme Song. He was very happy for **_Bootstrap Bill, who was, at the moment, cradling a bowl of fruit in his arm, and singing it a lullaby. He had stolen it from Davy Jones, in his sleep, from the organ. Bootstrap, noticing Legolas, stopped singing the lullaby, and plucked a pineapple from the bowl. _**(At this point I killed Drew for DARINg to even think of hurting dear Leggy-poo-kins-cuddle-by-hoohoo) **_(Still alive.) _**(Nuh-uh.)**_ (Oh, but I AM.)_** (BOOTSTRAP BILL, YOU'RE A LIAR AND YOU WILL SPEND AN ETERNITY ON THIS SHIP! stomps off, then comes back because it's my turn to write my next part soonishness. :P )** _(Silence! We must write! Now…) _**(Moo.) **_(Let's accomplish something, now, please.) He then cocked an arm, ate a mussel from his face, licked the pineapple, tested the wind, took aim, and hurled the pineapple at Legolas' girly face-_** (I am hereby cutting my FRIEND /hiss/ off midsentence, because I HIGHLY OBJECT TO THIS TREATMENT OF LEGGYPOOKINWHATEVERICALLEDHIMBEFORE! In other words- myyyyyy turn/evil/)**

**"I AM BOLD!" cried Legolas, and dived out of the way, dropping to the ground in a cool, ninja-turtle roll. Yup. Then he stood up, flapped his arms like a butterfly, and ate a Fruit Roll Up. "YEAH! BOLD! AND BEAE-YOO-TI-FULL! Unlike you, with your ucky starfish face. Geesh. Who are you anyway? You need some, like, hand lotion. No. Wait. Hand lotion is for hands. Face- parlay… parloo… LOTION! Yeah! Face LOTION! Wootwoot!" He then scurried up a tree, and yodeled, "Gim-a-lay-heheheheeeeeeeeeee!"**

**No one appeared.**

**"GIMLI! GET YOUR STUPID DWARF BUTT OVER HERE NOW!"**

**"BITE MY BUTT, CONGO SNAKE!" Bootstrap screamed, for his secret obsession had now taken complete hold of his mind, and he charged at the tree, ramming into it headfirst. **

**His starfish fell off. (Me: Gasp:o)**

_Bootstrap then proceeded to wail in misery, for the starfish _**(At this point, dRew did a cool Writer Move, which consisted of shoving up his jacket sleeves. Just thought you'd like to know, even though I honestly don't think you care/) **_(She types a lot, I see. Curse these typos! I hate this keyboard!) _**(BE NICE TO MY KEYBOARD! WE'VE BEEN THROUGH A LOT:P) **_(It's not slanted and/or weird enough- STOP STOMPING ON MY FOOT! –fwap-) _**(NEVER/valiantly continues to stomp on Drew's foot… oh,… IT'S ALMOST 7! AHHH! WE HAVE SIX MINUTES! XD We've barely written any storyness, it's mostly us arguing… I suppose that's entertaining, though. We should make this multichaptered. Yeah. I think we will, whether drew likes it or not.)** _(I like that idea.) _**(You better. And I'll steal the keyboard all I want. Technically, you'd be the one stealing it, since it's MY keyboard. Actually, it's the family's keyboard, but, hey! Also, technical00000h00000hly, you could steal it back. At any moment. In fsc-) **_(Like that? Now, )_ **(Yes, like that.) **_(-at this point, the two begin a vicious battle for the keyboard. A stray cannon shot strikes 'technically', filling it with 0's.) _**(At this point, DAVID came in. DAVID is Drew's little brother. Yeah. You know you wanted to know that. And now my mom is kicking Drew out of the house. He lives diagonally from my house. Yup. So, yeah. He's leaving. We'll continue this later, so yup. New chapter whenever. Yeah. Yup. Yoohoo! WAHOO! YIPPEE! HOW MANY DIFFERENT WAYS TO SAY YAY CAN I COME UP WITH! I don't know and neither do you! I'd keep going,Drew actually does have to go- DAVID SHUT UP!- Anyhoo, yeah. Say bye Drew!  ) **_(Goodbye, everyone. The first one to discover my ID- the keyboard is bouncing- escapes my wrath. Turrah!) _**(Ta! By the way, here's a clue to Drew's ID: Bermuda. Cow. Fan. Good luck! XD)**


	2. Boogie Woogie Polar Bears

(**YO! WE ARE DEAD! Wait, no, we are back! Yeah. He was talking about dead something… but, yeah, he's weird sooo… And I'm not? XD Yah. So, yup. We'll get onto the story now.)**

**Bold: Ish me.**

_Drew: Italics._

**(Clanker is controlled solely by ME. AND ONLY ME! GET AWAY! Wow, er yeah/. Umm, Drwew hasn't decided who he wants yet, so bah humbag he is a HAMBURGER! YAHHHHH! AHHH! HOOO! Woo. Boo.)**

**n.k j l**

**Stupid Drew.**

**Suddenly, CLANKER APPEARED! WHY DID HE APPEAR! BECAUSE HE IS COOL! YAHOO! AND WHY AM I TYPING IN ALL CAPS! BECAUUUUSE!**

**Yup.**

**So, Clanker ran into the field, with Davy Jones's left shoe attached firmly to his nose. "HAHA!" he shouted, sprinting in a circle. "I STOLE HIS SHOE! I have wanted it for so long, plotted to make it mine, and now that day has finally come! Heehaw!" He stopped, donned a tutu, and spin in pretty circles.**

_Boot- (AlEX IS KICKING AND OH WQ3NJI GOD/_

_3.;S3;'.DXR'_

_(I am now a ghost. Writer. Ghostwriter. AGH she stabbed me again l;lmkm,kl; kl./',. … Sorry. Okay.)-strap, at this point, had had quite enough. He picked up his starfish, and put it in his pocket- and hurled his bowl of fruit at Clanker._

**"I SHALL SAVE YOU! FOR I AM… /dunnanana/ CAPTAIN OBVIOUS!" Legolas screeled, jumping out of the tree, and flying towards Botstrap. He completely missed, landed on his face, and got up. "Oh no! Creepy guy with BIG nose! Ick, that is quite the big nose, freaky-weeky! Hahaha! Anyhoo, there's A BOWL OF FRUIT FLYING TOWARDS YOUR FACE!"**

**By that time, the bowl of fruit had already bonked Clanker in the head, making his hat go flying. "NOOO!"**

_Bootstrap grumbled, retrieving his somehow unharmed bowl of fruit from Clanker's dehatted head. Stuffing ten watermelon slices into his mouth, he spat the seeds at Legolas, and said, "Roger flower was quite the lowly radish!"_

**(Now I am going to give Drew a congratulatory smack on the back for making his first ever RADNOM PHRASE! whap Oh, well, I hit his shoulder. No biggie.)**

**Legolas (Drew is dancing) blinked back tears. "BULLY! BULLYWOOLY LIKE AN ELEPHANT!" He ran off crying. As he was running he tripped over Clanker's hat. "HEY!" Legolas shouted at the evil-minded thing that had tripped him.**

**Glanving down, he became pleaseeeed with what he saw. "I THINK I WANT TO WEAR THAT ON MY HEAD!"**

**So he put it on.**

**Suddenly, a slimy… clawish… THING! Latched onto Leggy-pookin's head. +"AHHH!" he wailed, running around in a circle. "IT'S SLIMY AND ICKY AND INFECTED MY HAIR WITH THINGS THAT WILL MAKE IT LESS SHINY!"**

**He dropped to the ground and sobbed.**

**Meanwhile, Clanker had found Legolas's loverly Cinnamon Honey shampoo. (Drew thinks that if someone were to put this on their head, someone would come up, say"OH! I WANT A CINNAMON BUN!" and eat their hair.) Clanker stared at the bottle, trying to decipher the words. He couldn't read… (Me: No duh.) "WHAT IS THIS MONSTROSITY!" he yelped, pouring some into his hand. Oddly enough, this strange magical gooey substance seemed to have caused him to forget about his hat.**

**He sniffed it, and then dumped the whole bottle onto his head. Instantly, his scraggly seaweed hair changed into luxurious, blonde, Legolas-like locks. (Now, just try to picture this.)**

_(Alex wrote. A lot.) When he was out of seeds to spit, Boostrap grumbled some more- and eyed Clanker's hair. An odd scent passed under his normal-sized nose (_**As opposed to Clanker's over-sized CONKER! XD) **_and he took it in, and nodded carefully._

_"I think Darla wants a cinnamon bun." Another nod- and he lifted up the bowl of fruit, and whacked Clanker over the head with it. "WHERE ARE YOU HIDING THEM!" (Alex wants the keyboard again. SHE NEVER LETS ME- … oh, no she's pretending to cry oh god chivalry subroutines taking over AAAGH!)_** (I died from lack of keyboard b-(Drew changed the font-size to 24 so I whapped him in the mouth with the mousepad))**

**"Hiding what?" Clanker asked, a bit dazed… okay, a LOT dazed from being whacked upside the head with a bowl of fruit. "I don't know what you're talking about!"**

**He did a random somersault in the air, and then did some ballet- for, alas, the shampoo that he had taken from Legolas had turned him into a ditzy blonde, who always states the obvious.**

**Oh, I forgot about LEgolas. Well, I don't think we're going to use him anymore, so here is a quick fiz solution: The Kraken came up, and ate Legolas-pookinfaceywhahaa. (O.o). He also ate Clanker's hat, but Clanker'll die. No. I WON'T LET THAT HAPPEN!**

_(Alex almost hit me over the head with the keyboard. Now she's att9ouivfolding me with a ph6one. I called 349068439083672470.)_

**Drew had to go. But he says bye, and so does David, who appeared. TA!)**


	3. Prologue of DOOM!

**(Mmkay- this is a prologue that Drew wrote. I'm too lazy to set it as the first chappie, so I'll stick it here in the third chapter are. XD Hah! Inside jokes abound. XD)**

_Davy Jones and crew acquire a map from an old coat, but really it turns out to be the entire Periodic Table of the Elements. Jimmylegs takes it for himself, and rolls it up next to the fruit bowl. Bootstrap steals the bowl, which makes Maccus cry because it was his, having stolen it from Jones. Davy Jones flies off the handle when Maccus gets too annoying, and throws him in the locker. _

_Meanwhile, Clanker is making a sandwich. _**(We all know what kind of sandwich it is! XD)**

_Bootstrap escapes to Isla Cruces, where he digs up the Dead Man's Chest, and replaces the heart with the bowl of fruit to hide it. However, while running back to the Flying Dutchman, he trips, and his starfish comes off. Clanker, feeling his sandwich lacks something today, steals the starfish, and puts it into the sandwich. Maccus escapes the locker, and takes the sandwich hostage. Palifico steals the sandwich again from Maccus, who doesn't realise it, and hides the sandwich in the Triple Guns. _

_Bootstrap awakens to find his starfish gone, and resolves to get it back. The crew assembles, and begins a game of Clue, to decide who did it. Palifico wins, but Bootstrap hits him with the Chest, takes the sandwich, and reattaches the sandwich. _

_It is at this point that he begins spouting random phrases, as he is known to do. Clanker takes the rest of the sandwich back, and hits Maccus with a ball of shot, who falls overboard, and back into the Locker. Davy Jones begins playing his organ again, wondering where his bowl of fruit had gotten to. Jimmylegs ponders the periodic table, but Boostrap runs into Clanker, who spills rum all over it. _

_In revenge, Jimmylegs takes Clanker's cat, which says 'Down on your marrowbones and pray', but is stuck in the Triple Guns. However, Greenbeard steers the ship into a reef, and the cat falls out of the cannons, and onto Bootstrap's head. Panicking, he proceeds to slam into the Twins, who decide they want the cat. Clanker eats his bones-and-bread sandwich glumly, as the Twins enter Jones' quarters, but trip and hurl the cat onto his organ. _

_Jones flies into a rage at this, as Clanker enters with Bootstrap, and a battle ensues. Bootstrap eats a piece of melon, and spits it into the Twins' eyes, as Clanker throws bones at Jones, and attempts to save his cat. Failing this, he sits down and cries, whereupon Jones sends him to the brig for chicken soup & a hug. Bootstrap dances on the organ, and the Twins run away, defeated. Bootstrap then takes up his bowl of fruit, runs out of Jones' quarters, and hurls himself overboard into a random field of flowers. _

_This brings us to the present._


	4. FUNKAY PENGUINS! DODODO!

**(Yo. We're back. Again. It is Saturday, September 16, 2006, at 9:36 in the AM. Yappers. O.o Wow, odd. Okay, STORY TIME, KIDDIES/evil grin/)**

**Bold: Me. Again.**

_Italics: Drew. Again._

**Clanker is still mine, Drew still hasn't decided who he wants to control. ("I'm not familiar enough with them, whine whine whineijk n m, ./╔;lm) **_(Here is where I interject. I was not whining, simply explaining why I'm loathe to take control of anyone. … -pokes Alex, then avoids getting his toes crushed by her feet- Story time.)_

**(By the way, Drew made me break the keyboard holder thing. But he says he "didn't do it" /shifty eyes/)**

**So, last time we were typing, Clanker had had his hat eaten by the Kraken, and his sea weed hair had turned into luxurious blonde locks, due to the use of Legolas's shampoo. Yup.**

**So, Clanker was in the field doing ballet, when suddenly a NAZGUL SWOOPED DOWN FROM THE SKY AND SNATCHED HIM.**

**"Shiiiiiiiireeee!" it hissed. "Bagginnnnsssss!"**

**Clanker gave it an odd look. "Eh, whosiewhaty? You wanna talk to the Cap'n, you're gonna have ta see Maccus, not me. Oh, wait, I'm supposed to be acting ditzy, but the author forgot about that. Lalalala, I'm a magical elf-faerie-leprechaun!"**

_(Wow. She gave me the keyboard. Something smells.) Boostrap eyed the Nazgul, flying high in the sky, much like a blueberry pie. _**(YEAH! MY NAMESAKE! WOOOOH!)**_ Feeling sympathetic toward Clanker, he looked down into his bowl of fruit, which happens to be bottomless and infinite, and contain all the world's many juicy edibles. This time, though, he reached in, and drew out a massive lego kiwi._

_Taking brave aim, because aim can be brave, he cocked an arm and hurled the kiwi into the sky. It struck the Nazgul between the eyes, turning it into a life-size LEGO Nazgul._

**(Okay, I highly object to this. And Drew has to go.)**

_(I have to go, people. Take care, and don't eat legos.)_

**(He may be back later.)**


End file.
